Don't Fix. Listen.

Have you ever tried to fix someone? Did it work? As a counselor and even as a friend, it took me a long time to understand that I had no right to fix someone. Who am I to decide what is best for another individual? To truly understand someone means that I have to listen to them. However, talking about one’s challenges does not come easy for many. After letting an individual know that I would be happy to listen if they needed to talk, the ball was now in their court. When they were ready for a conversation, it…

World Mental Health Day: Be Kind. Always.

Recently, I was teaching my son how to drive. I suspect many of you have been there as well; white knuckled as you grab onto that OMG handle praying for safety. Anyway, we are merging onto the highway at a snail’s pace, and I notice that a truck is rapidly approaching. In no time the driver is right behind us. Growing impatient, the man behind the steering wheel leans on the horn.   He aggressively rides our bumper until we finally get onto the highway. After revving his engine he blows by us and flips the bird. Nice. Now, I could…

10 Years Sober and Proud

Today marks 10 years of sobriety.  I am emotional even writing that. The reality is that nothing in my life would be possible without my sobriety. Nothing. I would not be blessed with a beautiful wife, four incredible sons, and a home not a house. From day one my wife, Tanya, said we were moving forward, not backward. She was (and always will be) my rock. I want to share 3 key lessons that I have learned along the way. 1. Use Your Voice in Times of Need Silence has never equalled strength. Staying behind closed doors can make us…

3 Life Lessons While Watching My Son Fight For His Life

Early June, 2018 my wife, Tanya, and I discovered a large mass in the stomach of our six-year-old son, Malcolm. The situation progressed rapidly, and what transpired over the next few months was one of the most challenging experiences of my life. It’s one thing when you are the person facing a particular battle, and it’s quite another when you must helplessly watch someone you love fight their own battle. The lessons I learned were numerous, but I want to share three.   1. Never minimize your pain Early in this experience I struggled to put a voice to my…

Your Family Deserves the Best Version of You

When I pull into my driveway after work, my eyes rest on the ribbons hanging from my rear-view mirror. This is my personal car wash. This is my reminder to clear any negative energy that I may have picked up throughout the day. This is my reminder to give my family the same kindness and respect that I deliver to those around me in my place of work. Early in my career I would walk through the doors of my home and it felt like a switch went off. I seemed to be under the impression that I no longer…